CONTRIBUTION FROM “THE KING GUY”
If only we had a King. You know, a guy who we are sure is not only ON first base but who IS first base. I don’t go in so much for Queens. That’s why I am not a monarchist. Some people want royalty. I don’t want just any royalty. I want a King.
It isn’t that a guy like me thinks he can be King. A guy like me knows that his street cleaner father and his convenience store clerk mother will never find out that they are actually related to someone who was related to someone who was related to someone who was ever considered to be any kind of royalty whatever. I also do not dream of marrying a princess — and she would have to be one old maid princess for me to be a contender at that. No. I want a King exactly and precisely because no King could ever be in the situation I am in. That is in itself very comforting. I need to think that there is some path in this world that will absolutely prevent anyone from ending up where I am.
Now, as you probably have figured out, I am a guy. As a guy, even in these times, it would be difficult for me to become a Queen. Add the gender stuff to everything else standing in my way of becoming a King and you can bet serious money that I have no chance of being Queen even if I wanted to be one — and I don’t. No, I don’t want to be a Queen. In fact, I can’t exactly understand how anyone would want to be Queen. Aside from one or two of them, Queens don’t seem to have had the kind of power their rank suggests because their gender stood in the way. Now, I really am not in the mood to argue about gender because I am way, way beyond that kind of concern right now. I can tell you, though, that the kind of royalty I need must have been as solid as the sun throughout most of recorded time. I need a royalty with the historical narrative nailed, not royalty tossed by the winds of ethical fashion or even justice.
I won’t go into detail about why no one should be where I am. I will just tell you to take it on faith. I am not “learned.” I am not rich. I do not have a skill that makes me able to get a decent job because about as soon as I get a skill some damned robot takes it or it is regulated out of existence or they ship it to some country where the monthly wage wouldn’t buy a candy bar here.
My son came home yesterday and tried to set fire to our shed. He was crying. He told me that I was going to be responsible for the death of every human being on earth. I asked him to explain and he just pointed to a can of weed killer in the front corner of the shed post. I asked him if I made the weed killer. I asked him if he knew of a better way for me to make sure we had enough to eat. He said he tried to tell the class speaker that, but the lady just told him that I had to find a better way. She said that it was just stupid to do things everyone knows does serious harm. She said that each one of us has to do whatever we can to stop the poisoning of our environment. My son tried to burn down our shed because he didn’t want some important person to think he is either stupid or a criminal. Instead he thinks I am both.
A King would set this right. If I used weed killer the King would approve of it or I wouldn’t be using it. The King would have me do what I had to do. I would have a place. I would be stupid to some, but there would be enough company in my life neighborhood to make me feel right at home. My son would know what he could do and no, he could not become King, or even a knight or maybe he would not even be able to work in the convenience store my mother worked in, but he would work in something that was OK for him to work in if the King knew his stuff. I don’t want an idiot king — the progeny of centuries of inbreeding. I want a smart, intelligent guy who bears the responsibility of his people as part of his very DNA. I want a King who knows his place in history so I can know mine.
I am not an idiot. I know that we started our whole country by running from Kings and royalty. Kings are most often not the kind of men anyone would want to be running things. That is why we set the country up the way we did. But things just aren’t working out for people like me. We can’t seem to make our own way any more. I know that makes us sitting ducks for people who will set things up so they can get their own way — a ruler for them — not a King who will help us find our way. I already see those people make up all manner of religious nonsense to justify some scary crap that will set us at each other’s throats so they can step in to restore order. These are people who like the idea of martial law — who think that it would be great to imprison and execute those who disagree with them.
That is the trouble with wanting a King. Mostly a King becomes King when many, many of us give up. You can get a ruler that way, but odds are you won’t find a good King. The bottom line though is that I need to find a steady place and all I can think of right now is that a good King could do that for me.
Social Science Friction 